Get Curious
Why Taking an Interest in Someone’s Inner World Changes Everything.
We live in a world that moves fast. People talk over each other, rush through conversations, and often assume they already know what someone else is thinking or feeling. But if there is one skill that deepens connection more than anything else, it’s this:
Get Curious.
Curiosity – real, warm, non-intrusive interest – is like a key that unlocks another person’s inner world. It signals, “Your experience matters. I want to know you.” When we approach someone with curiosity, we’re giving them room to share not only the easy parts of themselves, but the tender, sensitive, vulnerable parts too.
And when we do that? Everything changes.
Curiosity Says: I See You
When we ask questions gently, without an agenda or quick judgments, we create emotional safety.
Curiosity sounds like:
- “What’s that been like for you?”
- “Can you tell me more?”
- “I hadn’t thought of it that way – help me understand.”
These simple invitations communicate: I notice you, and you matter enough for me to slow down and turn toward you. This is where deeper connection begins.
Tip to Try: ask someone 3-5 curious questions to really feel a sense of what they are saying.
In Partnerships: Curiosity Builds Trust
So often, partners get stuck in patterns of assumptions:
“He’s just being distant.”
“She’s overreacting.”
“They don’t care.”
But when partners shift from interpreting to inquiring, defenses soften. Instead of reacting to the surface behavior, they explore the emotion underneath.
A curious partner might say:
“Can I check something with you – are you feeling overwhelmed right now?”
Or
“When you walked away earlier, what was going on inside for you?”
Curiosity helps partners move from “you vs. me” to “we are trying to understand each other.”
It builds trust. It increases emotional safety. And it invites closeness – even during conflict.
With Children: Curiosity Shows Them They’re Worth Knowing
Kids – especially tweens and teens – want to be seen, but not interrogated. Curiosity is the bridge.
When parents get curious instead of corrective, something powerful happens: children feel valued, capable, and understood.
Instead of:
“Why would you do that?”
Try:
“Walk me through what you were thinking.”
Or
“What part of that felt hard for you?”
Curiosity helps kids put words to their inner experience – a skill they’ll carry into adulthood. It tells them:
Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter. You matter.
And when kids feel known, they show up differently: calmer, more open, more connected. It also builds their self-confidence and agency to make decisions.
Tips to Try: ask this or that questions, correct me if I’m wrong or multiple choice.
Examples:
Do you think bedtime matters for how you feel in the morning or do you think those are separate?
Did you have pizza for lunch today? (No, they had a burger).
Do you think you’d rather apples with peanut butter, oatmeal with cinnamon ,or banana and toast for breakfast?
Why Curiosity Makes Us Better Humans Everywhere
Once we practice curiosity at home – with our partners, children, or closest relationships – it naturally spills outwards.
At the grocery store.
On the sidelines.
In the workplace.
In the line at the DMV.
In the world.
Curiosity slows us down long enough to remember: everyone has a story we can’t see.
Everyone carries invisible joys and invisible wounds.
Everyone has reasons for why they show up the way they do.
And when we lead with curiosity rather than judgement, we create micro-moments of compassion that ripple outward.
Curiosity Steps to Try This Week
Here are a few simple ways to start:
Replace Assumptions with Questions
Try:
“Can you help me understand?”
Instead of
“I know what you meant.”
Listen Without Planning a Response
Let their words land.
Pause.
Then Respond.
Make Space for Sensitive Parts
If someone hesitates, gently say,
“I’m here. Take your time.”
Show Gratitude for Honesty
Thank them – even if what they shared was hard to hear.
Stay Curious With Yourself Too
Notice your reactions:
“What’s coming up for me right now?”
Self-curiosity builds emotional regulation and empathy.
Final Thought: Curiosity Is an Act of Love
Curiosity makes relationships richer.
It makes parenting softer.
It makes communities kinder.
It turns everyday exchanges into opportunities for connection.
When we choose curiosity, we’re choosing to see the humanity in others – and to let them see ours.
So this week, try leading with one simple intention: Get Curious!
The world around you will open in ways you didn’t expect.