Couples Therapy

Couples therapy offers the opportunity to rebuild, rejuvenate and rekindle a relationship. The goal is for both individuals to understand their partner’s feelings, needs and wants, make amends and declare new patterns of interaction. This is hard work! Showing up to therapy is not enough. You have to participate both in session and at home.

In therapy, couples learn how to keep relationships from deteriorating, with an emphasis on good listening and communication skills, conflict resolution, and sharing intimacy.

There is process and content. Most couples want to come to therapy to talk about all the content: he-said-she- said, he-did-or-did-not-do-this and she-didn’t-do-that. Interestingly, if you took all the examples, you could find a dance, a pattern of communication also called a feedback loop. It is that interaction that becomes toxic. Over time, resentment builds and communication and mutual respect break down. In therapy, we focus on the process. We identify that toxic pattern and find more productive ways to interact.

People have a way of becoming what you encourage them to be, not what you nag them to be. S.N. Parker