Want to release your super powers at work? It starts at home

It used to be go to work, work your tail off, go home. Work was work and home was home. Remember that? It feels like a lifetime ago. Tech, the pandemic and everything in between have reshuffled the deck leaving us with a 24/7 mashup of competing demands, especially if home includes raising kids.

So, what is our new normal? How do we balance it all so we can be our best at work? It starts at home. So says Dr. Amanda Craig, licensed marriage and family therapist in New York City and author of recently released Who Are You and What Have You Done with My Kid, she speaks to the capacity of emotional connection with our kids to mine their super powers, and ours. According to Dr. Craig, when we connect like that, we feel better, focus better.  We’re sharper, stronger. We have more energy. We are proactive, more creative.  

So, what does this have to do with the workplace? Everything!

“When we can strike a balance where we feel connected and close to our family, we bring a better attitude to work. We bring energy and a creative mind,” said Dr. Craig. “These are all things that lead employees to invest in workplace morale, goals and team,” she added.

Here are Dr. Craig’s tips for finding the balance and connection we need to get it right at home so that we can get it right at work.  And this are not just for women. Men are dads and husbands and their families want them home and to engage. And when they show up at home they will have more pep in their step at the office.

Tip #1

Since all hours are up for grabs to meet work demands in our “always on” lives, we need guardrails and intentionality in how we organize our time. Here are three takes on how this might play out.  

a.    Option 1: 8am to 3pm—work; 3pm to 8pm—family; 8pm to 10pm—work

The beauty of this schedule is you are available for the work day, but then get the best hours of the day with your kids too. Driving them around after school, you’ll hear about their day and listen to them talk to their friends. You can have dinner together at the table, get a look at their homework and know they get to bed on time. You then can wrap up the workday—check email, get your list of to dos ready for the next day and close any open items that need your immediate attention …with time still for a good night’s sleep, gold for your energy the following day.

b.   Option 2:  6am to noon—work; noon to 3pm—break; 3pm to 7pm—work; 7pm to

      10pm—family and down time. This schedule is great if you work with companies overseas and have teens. You’ll start early but take a mid-day lunch break to recharge your mind and body, perhaps with exercise, yoga or meditation. But you’ll still get the bedtime routine to connect and check in with your family on the day. Again, lights out at 10pm after some time for self-care.

   c. Option 3: 10am to 4pm—work; 4pm to 7pm—family; 7pm to 10pm—work.

The late start of this schedule gives you time for early morning exercise, a good breakfast and getting the kids out the door at the start of the day. You can use midday and late night for work functions. The later work hours in this schedule also provide a time free from the meetings and emails that can take over the heart of the work day, giving you the opportunity to focus on projects that need extended concentration.

Tip #2

Find childcare that fits your needs. We often work around childcare providers rather than being honest about what we need and continuing to look until we find it. When we cater to the childcare provider, we end up rushing, compromising, never getting what we need and feeling taken advantage of, extended and frustrated. Our kids will pick up on how we feel about our childcare provider. Create a job description that fits the roll.

Tip #3

Take all your vacation days. Period. Enough said.

Tip #4

When you take time from work for a child’s sporting event, play or classroom activity, be present. Excusing yourself for phone calls – even one – is a connection killer. Your kids will notice. Make the time sacred. You’ll be glad you did.

A final note from Dr. Craig: These tips aren’t about checking boxes. Rather, they are about rethinking your lifestyle to find the balance that works for you and your family flow. It may take some effort: You may have to find a new child care provider, tell your boss something he or she doesn’t want to hear, change up your exercise routine to fit your new schedule and resist the pull to steal time from one part of your schedule for another. But hang in there. Once you try it and get into it, you will create a pattern. And with that new pattern will come joy, a sense of freedom and accomplishment, and most of all, a feeling of connection at home and at work.